Growing In Good Manners

“Select only strong, healthy, and good-looking young men,” he said. “Make sure they are well versed in every branch of learning, are gifted with knowledge and good judgment, and are suited to serve in the royal palace.  (Daniel 1:4, NLT)

When the king of Babylon instructed Ashpenaz to select some young men of Israel to serve in the royal palace of Babylon, he gave some specific criteria his chief eunuch should use.  He told Ashpenaz to select strong, healthy, good-looking young men who were well-educated, had good judgment, and were suited to serve in the royal palace (essentially they showed respect and good manners).

While ultimately God’s grace saves us for all eternity, changes us from glory to glory, and empowers us for the work He has called us to, good manners and respect (and even good health) may very well open up doors for us to make an impact on those around us as we go through our journey in life.  Daniel and his friends had the advantage of growing up in royal/noble families (Dan 1:3) to learn and grow in respect and good manners.  In reality though, whatever our backgrounds or upbringing, we all can grow in showing respect and good manners to others (we can also grow in learning and good health also, but that’s a post for another time).

In today’s culture (American anyway), it seems many have not been taught (or have forgotten their training) in common courtesy, respect, and good manners.  Perhaps we’ve gotten so consumed with ourselves we don’t really consider (much less care) about others.  Or maybe we (or those who raised us) never really saw the point in all the rules of etiquette (kind of like not seeing the point in Robert’s Rules of Order).  Possibly, good manners seem archaic in these modern, advanced, technological times.

But whatever the reason for not doing it, by giving them up, we may very well have lost an important key to unlocking the doors of reaching and influencing the world around us.  Have you ever encountered (hopefully so) someone who showed courtesy, respect, and used good manners?  What kind of effect did it have on you as the recipient?  I have the privilege, with my family, of caring for our friend’s son for a little while.  No matter how often he says, “Thank you uncle Brian” it always impresses me.  Whether it’s after I’ve taken him for a walk, prayed for him, or given him something, when he thanks me (without me having to prompt him), it always makes me take notice and causes me to look upon him with great favor.  When he thanks me, it’s like a breath of fresh air or a cool drink on a hot day; it opens up my heart toward him.

Recently, I needed to send some information off to a business associate I had never met in person.  He requested some information and I sent parts of it to him in three separate e-mails.  He responded with a thank you (literally, just “Thank you for sending the information.” on the first e-mail and “Thank you.” on the other two) to every one of those e-mails.  Although I don’t really know him,  I am greatly impressed by him (so often I send e-mails and get no acknowledgment that they even received it, much less appreciated the information I supplied at their request – unfortunately, I too need to work on this).

I could give countless stories (or at least a few more) of different ways I’ve experienced the respect and good manners of others.  The point in all of them is the same.  Respect and good manners helps to build relationships and opens up doors for us to impact and influence those around us (in a positive way).

Here are some of the manners that I’m working on:

• Smiling at and acknowledging people as I pass them (I really need to work on this)
• Saying “Thank you” (unfortunately I don’t always do this)
• Paying attention as others speak (and giving visual cues that I am paying attention) and not allowing the distractions of phones, computers, electronic devices, and my own thoughts interrupt (another one I really need to work on).

How about you?  What manners are you working on?  Do you think they even really matter?

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